Lucasfilm Kills 3D Star Wars Re-Releases After Realizing It’s Horrible and Everyone Hates It

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What’s worse than the Star Wars prequels? The Star Wars prequels ramrodded in your face with an extra dimension. Lucasfilm was planning on subjecting idiots with loose wallets to re-released 3D Young Anakin, but Disney says no more bullshit.

Deadline reports that Lucasfilm will pass on distributing the other five Star Wars flicks after The Phantom Menace completely bombed in 3D, to the surprise of no one except perhaps George Lucas and the Nazi scientist who invented 3D movies. Instead, Disney wants complete focus on the J.J. Abrams reboot—an absolutely smart move, even if those new sequels will themselves probably be filmed in 3D. If there’s going to be 3D crap, let there be the smallest about of 3D crap possible.

But when was the last time we heard of Lucasfilm doing something non-grotesque? When was the last time anyone even associated with Star Wars owned up to failure? I can’t remember. Maybe Disney will take the time to realize how much of a dumb-assed fad 3D cinema is by 2015—or maybe by then it’ll be too obvious to ignore. I don’t want to watch the most important three moments of my adult life with glasses on.

Will a No-Money, Wireless-Payment System Make Disney World More Magical?

Some time soon, you’ll be able to go to Disney theme parks and pay for stuff using nothing but wireless bracelets. It’s magic! Or uh, is it laid-bare commercialism desensitizing visiting families from the wads of cash they’re spending? Obviously, there’s something in it for Disney. Its theme parks produce massive revenue, and with parents already knee-deep in the monetary bear trap, the RFID bands are basically a lock to increase that. But there’s also an inarguable charm to taking the purchasing mechanisms out of giving a gift at a theme park. “You want this toy princess? IT’S YOURS. Go ahead, walk away with it.” That’s not all the MagicBands do. In addition to being your credit card, you can use them to remotely sign up for FastPass—Disney’s line-speeding feature at parks that lets you schedule when you’ll show up to ride—as your room key, park ticket, and to give personal information to the park’s employees (if you opt in). For example, it can tell Cinderella that it’s your birthday without anyone telling her. Reading more into it, I also found a survey about this. Instant payment is just the tip of the iceberg. They’re planning on using these bands to create a more immersive experience at the parks. Things like interactive lines, linking them to their “photopass” service, character meet and greets, etc. They’ll be able to use them to track lost children, make suggestions for you to check things out based on what you’ve been doing and what you may have not done yet… it’s crazy. They already have methods in place for a lot of this, but the people “behind the scenes” getting park traffic information in real time they can keep things moving in the park.

The Next ‘Star Wars’ Trilogy: A New Hope?

Photo: Everett Collection

When George Lucas announced that he was selling his company to Disney, it was (to paraphrase ol’ Obi-Wan) as if millions of nerds suddenly cried out in terror. But now that the dust is off and we’ve all had time to absorb the bombshell news, disciples of the Force are probably wondering what’s next. Yes, there will be movies. But what will they be about?

We did a roundup of some of the more interesting reporting and rumors floating around. As we all now know, there will be at least three new films: episodes VII, VIII, and IX. But what those films will cover is open to a lot of speculation.

We can safely assume that the films will be original stories and not adaptations of “Star Wars” novels, comics, or games. This is kind of a bummer. The Admiral Thrawn book trilogy by Timothy Zahn is highly regarded and would make a compelling series of films. However, according to E! Online, the new films will be based on original treatments written by George Lucas.

The Wrap spoke with Dale Pollock, author of the Lucas biography, “Skywalking: The Life and Films of George Lucas.” The author, who interviewed the director at least 80 times for his book, says that while he was doing research in the 1990s, he was allowed to read the outlines to the 12 (yes, 12!) stories.

“It was originally a 12-part saga,” Pollock said. “The three most exciting stories were 7, 8, and 9. They had propulsive action, really interesting new worlds, new characters. I remember thinking, ‘I want to see these three movies.’” He did say that the three films feature Luke Skywalker in his 30s and 40s. No other details were given due to a confidentiality agreement Pollock signed.

But that was a long, long time ago. Plot lines, stories and characters can come and go. Still, it would seem likely that the next trilogy would go back to the trio of Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, and Princess Leia. IGN has an interesting idea — why not use “Avatar”-style versions of Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, and Carrie Fisher in these new films? Yes, many would object, but let’s be honest — that trio is the heart of the saga and it’s going to be difficult to accept other actors in the roles.

Of course, that’s just one theory. There are others. The Hollywood Reporter writes that Disney may do an “‘Avengers’-style universe with not only Lucas’ planned final trio of films but offshoot movies focusing on individual characters.” While there is no official confirmation, the idea makes sense. The “Star Wars” universe is ripe for interesting characters and Disney will want to get its $4 billion worth.

Entertainment Weekly sat down with Mark Hamill, who played Luke Skywalker in the original trilogy. Hamill revealed that he and Carrie Fisher (Princess Leia) had lunch with George Lucas in August. Lucas told them that he was planning to make another trilogy. “When he said, ‘We decided we’re going to do episodes VII, VIII, and IX,’ I was just gobsmacked,” Hamill said. Still, he had no idea the director was planning to sell his company. “Oh my gosh, what a shock that was,” Hamill said.

The films, whatever they end up focusing on, will be executive produced not by Lucas but by his successor, Kathleen Kennedy. She will work with Disney Studios Chairman Alan Horn to produce the films and build the brand. Horn is highly regarded. He previously worked at Warner Bros., where he helped to oversee the “Harry Potter” films. Clearly, the guy knows his way around valuable franchises.

When it comes to who will direct the films, that’s anybody’s guess. Danny Boyle would make a nice choice. He directed the under-seen sci-fi flick “Sunshine.” Steven Soderbergh would surely make an interesting film set in a galaxy far, far away. If producers want to go with a blockbuster kind of guy, how about James Cameron or Steven Spielberg? Other possibilities that would likely be met with approval:Joss Whedon, J.J. Abrams, Rian Johnson.

Hollywood studios left red-faced after losing ISP download case

Hollywood’s battle with web pirates hit a significant road bump this week, when it lost a copyright case in Australia.

A number of Hollywood studios – including Warner Bros, Disney and 20th Century Fox – were behind the action against Australian ISP iiNet, which accused the service provider of allowing its users to download copyrighted content and blamed the company for not putting anti-piracy measures in place.

This was in 2010 and the lawsuit was eventually quashed when the court ruled in favour of iiNet, but the 35 movie and TV companies involved in the case decided to push ahead with an appeal.

Skip to 2012 and that appeal has been lost, with the court backing its original ruling that iiNet did not authorise the apparently illegal downloads or have the power to stop them.

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Will Netflix V Lovefilm drive you to piracy?No authorisation

“The High Court held that the respondent, an Internet service provider (ISP), had not authorised the infringement by its customers of the appellants’ copyright in commercially released films and television programmes,” said the court’s statement.

Warner Bros and co aren’t exactly happy with this ruling, with a spokesman for the Australian Federation Against Copyright Theft (AFACT) saying about the judgement: “Both judgements in this case recognise that copyright law is no longer equipped to deal with the rate of technological change we have seen since the law of authorisation was last tested.”

The ruling does have massive implications for the rest of the world. If courts aren’t going to fine or punish ISPs for copyright infringement, then a lot of them might be thinking that going down the ‘three strikes and you are out’ road for repeat infringers might not be the right thing to do.