So this year(2016) is beyond ridiculous… I mean every year has it’s ups and downs. But it seems this year is one kick after another.
My father passed away early in the beginning of the year. So I’ve been dealing with that. Trying to at least. Meanwhile it seems like I’ve been having a few medical issue after another. Talking with my Doctor and describing some my problems health and mental. Turns out I’m suffering from Depression and Anxiety. Which is causing problems with work and my family. Couldn’t deal with a lot of people all at once and would start to panic.
Never spoke up for myself and just kinda rolled over. Stress eat…. It was a big mess really. But now I’m being medicated for it and things are turning around so to speak. So after moving forward with that, I had my shoulder finally checked out. About 10 years ago I had popped it out of the socket. Then had it violent put back in. Ever since, it’s been giving me problems and getting in the way of my job. At some points I wasn’t able to pick up my kids or nieces and nephews.
*** Need to stop for a moment. Doctor is hooking up with wires. I’ll explain in a minute.***
So after the Doctor looked at my arm and shoulders, had some x-rays done and found that there is a small gap between my clavicle and join. That cause the muscles to slip in and pinch. So he gave me a cortisone shot in the shoulder to help with the pain. Boy that was the weirdest feeling ever haha. But afterwards I was scheduled for physical therapy for the next couple of months. That was a lot of pain. So much I almost called out of work a few times. But now I’m finished with the therapy and get a shot in the shoulder if needed every other month.
Now the more recent updates and issues. While doing a follow up appointment, my Doctor wanted to see how the Depression medication was working as well as my shoulder. So while taking more x-rays, he stop and moved the machine down to the middle of my chest. Then took a series of x-rays and then proceeded to tell me that he found a dark spots on my lungs that wasn’t there before. Gave me a list of what could cause this or what it could be. As well the bad…. So he did some more tests and blood work and told he’ll let me know as soon as possible. Seeing how he was going on vacation that following weekend. Went back to work and almost broke down in front of my friend/boss…. I really didn’t know what to do. The stress of not knowing and waiting.
I believe it wasn’t till Monday when I heard the news. It turns out that it was scar tissue, likely caused by a violent cough or throwing up.. So as of right now you are wondering why the Doctor is wiring me up? Well my Doctor wanted me to do a sleep test. This also linked to my depression and anxiety. It’s going to be interesting as to what they find in the moring.
So till then, I will say goodnight!
So this post is more on the personal side. Which I’ve been know to do from time to time on here, aside from the nerdy fandom posts.
2013 was not the best year for myself. Oh sure I had a few winning moments. But sadly that only made 10% of the events good. Where as the bad was around 90%… Lost one of the many battles over custody for my children, lost my job, car, lots of financial problems and even got arrested towards the end of the year.
Also founded out that I’m suffering from Depression and what would be the being stages of Agoraphobia. For those who don’t know what Agoraphobia is, it’s when you an anxiety disorder characterized by anxiety in situations. Like in wide-open spaces, as well as uncontrollable social situations such as the possibility of being met in shopping malls, airports etc. Also causes panic attacks in those environments. There are better definitions on Wikipedia if you care to look it up :).
So this week finished all the left over drama from 2013. Paving the way for a new beginning in 2014. A vary much needed new beginning…
After being hit with the proverbial enlightenment stick. I’ve sought out getting help from a therapist and started taking parenting classes. I’ve Also registered for college in the fall. So today was the first day of therapy and it went rather well. It was more of a getting to know each other type of meeting, haha to get a better understanding of my shenanigans.
With a new being on the horizon, I’ve started/join some new creative outlets. One being this new podcast! Yay! This is something I’ve always wanted to do. But never knew how and or participate in one. Let alone on who to talk to about such a matter haha :). That was until last week when I got a tweet from a follower about joining his podcast group! At first I was nervous, not to sure of myself(Thank you Agoraphobia). But I pushed through it and jumped on board, because I knew I wasn’t going to get another change like this for awhile. Still a little nervous about everything, but I manage to finish an episode the other night. And went rather well, had a lot of fun and laughs. Can’t wait to record new episodes :). I’ve also started making a new layout for the website as well. Things like a new logo, update the HTML5, I’ve also been playing around with c++. I’m also looking to add new writers to my site.
But all in all, things are getting better. 2014 as a “A New Hope” feeling to it. I want to keep moving forward and make myself a better person.
So in ending this post I say to 2013,”So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish.”