So it’s been a hot minute since I last made a personal update. * Looks through history* Damn okay, so May was the last time I made a personal update. A lot has changed between then and now. Thankfully most of it was great changes/events. First one I would to bring up is about my custody battle. I know I’ve spoken about this at a number of times over the years. The stress and frustration it has cause my family as finally come to an end. In July we finally had our trial!! Shockingly it went easier than I thought. At the 11th hour before the trial, my lawyer called me stating that my ex wanted to make an offer. This offer came to us not long after we released our findings and witness list, as well evidence for my case. See before we didn’t get a chance to release our records due to the case being pushed back so many times. So once the other party finally got see what we have, the story quickly changed.
While we are still waiting to get the official signed documents fro the court house, I am happy to say that I now have full sole custody of my kids!!! While this is an awesome win for my family, it does have some smaller battles that will continue till the kids are of age. Their mother does have a parenting time plan for out of state. But their mother yet again moved to another state, only after she told the courts that her address at the time was a permanent. This is a on going pattern and would mark the 15th move she has made in the last 3 years. Plus she doesn’t want to pay child support and want me to pay for their trips out there. Or at least half of it… Yeah, that’s a hard no.. So like I said, there are a few smaller battles going on. But the most important one is finished and won. I have custody of my children!! After years of being told “no” or “be thankful for what I have.”, even was told that one point no man in the state of Oregon would have true custody. It was because of these comments I made it my mission to show that this wrong and fight the system. All these years of keeping records and being patient paid off.
August was another big month for us. Lilly got to have her birthday with friends and family. My girlfriend and I got married!! So much craziness leading up the wedding day. The food prep, making all the decorations and everything else that goes with a wedding. But it was awesome to see things come together. I was beyond happy to have most of my family there and friends. Even with Covid, we were still able to get people together. Plus it helped that everything was outdoors haha. We are currently waiting on pictures, there is something like over 400+ photos. So once we get all those I’ve have to share some with you. But we do have a few to show you.
And yes the wedding theme was HEAVY in the Lord of the Rings, Celtic and Scottish traditions. Also I forgot to bring up, I got a new job before the wedding. So it has been a rather eventful few months. Right now we are just trying to enjoy our time and move through life as normal as possible. As normal as we can get with Covid limitations.
I do have a few projects coming up centered around comic books, and DIY cosplay. The cosplay was a quest line that my son started for Halloween. I’ve shared a few pictures on my Instagram, but I’ll make sure to share the project in more depth on here. One of the other project is help my brother with his PR and website building. He is running for office in southern Oregon, so this had been an interesting experience.
This is a cautionary tale of a young boy who, despite all warnings went up against a fabled beast. The beast was a filled with hot air and it’s scales are a made from a mixture of nylon & ployester oxford. This tale begins on a warm sunny Saturday and everyone was getting ready for a birthday festivity. The day started off normal and relaxed, unaware of the battle to come.
So we all went to a family’s house for a birthday party and they rented out a bouncy house for the kids (and adults lets be honest hahaha). Everything was going rather well and everyone was having fun. Lots of food, drinks and the kids we’re all playing the bouncy house. We then opened gifts for the birthday boy, followed with cake as you do. Then everyone went back to playing.
While we putting some of the larger gifts together and talking. I was told that my son had hurt himself… Looking ahead, I can see that he was cry and his arm was just hanging down to his side. Thinking he might have dislocated it or messed up some of his muscles. After getting him to stop crying long enough to tell me what had happened. We put some ice on his shoulder where he said it hurt and he was fully able to tell us what he did.
It seems that at some point of playing around. He thought it would be a good idea to do a front flip from the bouncy house opening to the slide that was build on. Not being able to stick the landing the way he wanted too. He did land on his arm and bend it backwards… After he was able to move, we took him the the local ER to see if there was more damage than we were seeing.
I believe we were at the ER for almost 3 hours. They did some x-rays and found that he did brake his arm and pulled a few muscles. They gave him a shot small of morphine to help with his pain and put a splint/sling on him. He did have nurse that was hilarious and had a number of dad jokes/dark jokes. Which is right up my son alley, Odin knows that kids loves his bad jokes hahaha. I have to say that kid on morphine is something to see hahaha. He did not stop talking and so, SO MANY JOKES. I wish I got it on video, just to focused on getting everyone home.
So far he is doing better, sleeping is a bit of a challenge sometimes. So there is a lot of napping haha.
With much frustration I am writing this post to share. Why? I think in some weird way I hope it shows someone that they aren’t the only ones going to stressful times in dealing with custody battles. I believe I have shared this few times now, that I have been in a custody battle for “officially” two years now. I say “officially” because I went out and found a lawyer to help me with this battle. It’s actually been a uphill battle for almost 10+ years. Sure there have been a few good times, where everything was going smoothly. But those were quick to vanish in time.
We were to have our trial on the 26th of May… Not so much… The day right before, we got the call that it was pushed back due to a criminal trial. This has happen to us twice before and not to mention all the problems Covid caused and other the other party moving out of state. We were able to have a settlement hearing in hopes of coming to some type of agreement. What is the saying? Wish in one hand and crap in the other. See which one fills up first. I mean the fact most of us didn’t have much faith in this hearing. But I had a “small” hope that maybe, maybe she might see the problems.
With out going into much detail. The settlement hearing was a waste of time and the judge called. Turns out the other party has their significant other in the same room as them(they video call into the courts). When it was only for Lawyers and the two parties involved. Because of this the judge could not take her answers as truthful. Also the fact that we were on two different sides as far as parenting plans go. Fact of the matter is, we have offered a number of plans and she as rejected all of them. Even the Oregon standard long distance parenting plan. No changes, plan as is… But she rejected it.. Had she taken that deal, she would have had the kids this summer and possibly Christmas. But that is not the case now and we have moved on to what is best for the kids and not the adult.
Fact that the families for both sides are in Oregon, their friends as in Oregon. They have a stable foundation that was built in Oregon and to up root them to a state they never been before. Where they know no one and have zero family out here, not to mention the problem with the stepparent. But that is a headache of a story for another time…..
So after the settlement hearing was ended, the lawyer and myself talked about our next course of action. We were able to get a new trial date that wasn’t to far away and more confident that it will actually go through. Everyone wants this done with… It’s hard to deal with this and also plan a wedding at the same time. The trial is always in the back of my mind and is the cause of much stress. I believe this is the cause of number white hairs now haha.
So that is the current state if things, with out going into much detail. Sadly a lot of my time is devoted to this and a number of project have taken a backseat. Like my blog here. BUT!! Hopefully soon that will change and we can move on with life. Thank you for reading my drama and I am sorry for not updating as much as I normally do.
So after almost a month being away, I am slowly making my way back on to things. Sadly, a lot of events did not turn out like I had hoped or just did not happen at all. The trial that was set for the 24 of February did not happen and was pushed back to May. This was due to a criminal trial that was conflicting with our case. The frustrating part was no one was ready for it, we all knew the other trial was there. But we were told that it would be okay, but that all changed the day before the trial. The day before! Ugh, so here we are with everything out and really to go. Now we must pack everything up and wait again for May.
The history of this trial has gone on for almost two years now and all of us want to see the end of this. I know my kids want to see the end and to be able to continue moving forward with their lives. I mean this custody battle has gone on for several years. Sure, there were sometimes where things worked out and the ability to co-parent was possible. But after the some of the action of the other party, I cannot let it happen anymore. So, after getting legal help, this battle has been going on officially for two years now. Let me tell you, the stress and frustration are amazing.
At times it is like we are living two different worlds. The other party has this, we are right and everyone else has done us wrong attitude. Almost fighting with a brink wall, almost. But with both families fighting to keep the kids in the state, I am grateful for all the help and support I have received. I can safely say I would not be where I am in all of this, it was not for some key individuals. For that I would like to say thank you.
Sorry if some of this seems kind of vague, I am trying my hardest not to reveal names and certain information. Not that I am worried about hurting my case any, just do not the other parties involve to case more drama.
So here we are… Trial is now set for May, kids are still in at home learning. Hopefully, this will change by the end of the month and go into some hybrid learning plan. I am still looking around for a job. I think that was the frustrating part about all this, I finally got to a point in my job where I did not have to worry about money again. Then COVID changed all that. On top of this I have Child Support still billing, even tho the kids are in my care and have been for several years now. So, there is a balance due, and they say they cannot do anything because the case is now in trial. But that does not stop them from taking my pay, tax returns, and yes even my stimulus check. I was able to stop them from trying to take my unemployment payments. But damn… It has been a long and stressful year. I think was annoys me the most about the Child Support process, is that have issued me two refund check, all while billing me every month. The terrible part is that the check that were refunded to me, do not even make a dent into the amount they owe me. We are talking thousands of dollars here.
Right now, I am here standing around waiting for things to happen. Just trying to find another job, not to sure what I want to do. Kind of at the point where I can go into different directions, yet I cannot help this feeling of being scared/nervous. I am waiting on the trial to start and actually have ground rules in place. I find myself trying to make things feel normal for everyone at home, even tho things are far from normal haha. Thank you COVID for that. But there are several good things going on. Kids are healthy and both have 3.0+ GPA, they are about see their Grandparents and some of their friends in person. At least the ones that are within’ our inner circle. We have our monthly family get together, games and movie nights. I even finished a few art projects at need to be done in the worst way. Plus, not to mention the wedding planning going on!
So hopefully I will get back to writing on there and share my little life misadventures with you all. Even maybe get back to podcasting soon and finish with a few other projects. At any rate, thank you for being here and reading my rant about life.
Given a number of recent events. I will be postponing any social projects and/or media. That also includes my website/blog http://www.nerdylifeofmine.com and the podcasts that I am currently involved with, long with any Wizard World events. I have a custody trial date coming up in a few days and this needs my FULL attention. This has been a long battle, going on for a few years now and I hope this will be the end. This has been pushed back several times and some of it was out of my control, do to COVID-19.
For those who know me personally, will know how to get a hold of me if needed. For those who do not, you can use my email at email@example.com. This has been a source of much stress, heartache and headaches. I need to do what is right by my family and what is right by my kids. I am grateful for all those you have helped and for the simple act of listening to me vent. I am tired of the lies and the mental/emotional games that are afflicted on my kids and they deserve better. Hopefully by next month we have some ground/official rules in place and life will return to normal.
So till things are finished, I will remain absent from here.
What is funny… I had all these ideas on what talk about and write out. But once I got to the title of these post, just looking at the 2020.. Made my mind go blank, and this overwhelming stress began to creep in. Trying rather hard to look at the positive events that did happen in this year. This has been a long year slow, dreadful year. I remember in the beginning of 2020 things were looking up, I got promoted the year before and money was no longer a issue. We had made an number of plans for the year, started to save for things. Even at one point we were looking at get a house. Kids were doing good in school and healthy.
But that changed towards the end of January and all of February. I remember when we first hear about COVID-19 was at work. At the time it was mostly in Asia and we didn’t really worry to much about it. Then we heard the news of it hitting the UK hard. I remember we had a meeting about what to do if COVID came here. While some were in denial and some tried to throw out some ideas. It all turned out to be folly. Come March we shut down the restaurant for a few weeks to see how things go. Those few weeks turn to months and I found myself out of a job. After about a month of digging into the savings, I was finally approved for unemployment. Even with that , sadly money was a issue again. School shut down and the kids and myself found ourselves stuck at home. Not being able to travel or see some love ones. We tried to make the best of what we can.
I know in the past I have made some post about the kids and a few of the events going on. But I have to say I was rather shocked on how well the kids handled it all. My oldest would video chat or text with her friends, lots of crafts haha. My youngest he would video chat and was still able to play with his friends over a number of video games. At least over the summer things lighten up just a little to where they were able to have a friend over or a sleep over. But that too was short lived. We soon found ourselves sticking to our inner circle of family and friends. People who we knew that kept things clean and followed the CDC guidelines .
Then the Oregon fires hit..
My parents and siblings lived in Talent, Oregon. That whole town was leveled by fire. I remember the phone call I got from my Mom and sister, telling me that they were being evacuated and saying that the house was gone. That all the other homes were on fire around as well. After a few hours of hearing nothing from them and realizing that everything in their is gone was a hard pill to swallow. Once I did hear back, I picked up my sister to stay with us for a few days. So our parents could figure out what they needed to do. While this was going on, the kids other set of grandparents were having health problems and were able to have people over anymore do to being high risk of COVID. So the kids were not about to see any family most of the summer. We did get to have one get together on the fourth of July with my side of the family. Even made plans for Thanksgiving with them, sadly that turned out to be a pipe dream.
Some good news came from the fires, that my parents home was saved. The firefighters were able to save the house with some damage. But that was the beginning of a longer journey for them to get back into the house. Sadly some of my old friends weren’t so lucky and lost everything. So for the next month or so I was watching all the channels and keeping up to date on where the fires were. Because we were now in the circle of burning neighboring towns and everything was covered in ash. Sky was red and dark…
Then the rains came and all but stopped the fires. On the heels of that, we were going into the new school years and school was shut down. They were now at home learning and had to set them for that. So now I am at home worrying about money, keeping the house in order, making sure the kids have what they need, part time teacher/tech support and Dad.. At some point in all this craziness, my Mom got COVID from someone at work and she had to stay away from everyone. So after a number of tests and a couple of weeks, she is now doing better. But at this point we are all quarantine and can’t do anything.
Still out of a job and getting unemployment, luckily my girlfriend still had her job going. Otherwise I think we would have been in some trouble. So Halloween was shot, we just bought a bunch of candy and watched horror movies. Thanksgiving was now a small group of family and we still had Christmas to get to.
Now comes a topic I’ve been wanting to write about for awhile now. But I had to wait to I got the okay from my lawyer. Some of my close friends and family know I have been in a rather interesting custody battle. So while all this events were happening in 2020, I was fighting for my kids. I sadly can’t get into much detail.. But it as been a cause for much stress, headaches, tears and worry. To be truthful this legal battle should have been over with months and months ago. But with someone postponing and COVID, the court date kept getting pushed back. Hopefully this will come to a end this year. I know the kids want this to be done with. I know I want this done with, the families want this done with. The fact is too, I have been dealing with for years, it wasn’t till 2018 where I finally got legal help. Needless to say I have a better understanding of the laws now and beyond grateful for the help they have given me.
So now we are at the end of the year now. We were able to get a number of gifts for the kids and family. Also for the past year I have been planning on proposing to my girlfriend. I’ve talked with my kids about it, to see how they feel about. I think there were a at least 5 different conversations about it over the year. Both of were rather excited about the idea and happy. This is something that was important to me and I wanted to make sure the kids didn’t have any problems with it. Specially with everything going on.. So after talking with my girlfriend’s parents about it, they were more than happy to give their blessing. Aside note, my girlfriend and I had talked around October. Saying that we weren’t going to get each other gifts this year and save that money for a trip or something down the road. To mostly focus on the kids and family members. I had gotten the ring before hand hahaha. So this was going to be a shock to her. On Christmas Eve after all the gifts were open, I proposed to my girlfriend(now fiancee). Luckily my oldest got it on video hahaha.
So 2020 ended on a high note, at least for myself. While I am looking forward to 2021, I am not holding my breath for things to get better. We are trying to plan a wedding and yet make back up plans in case those plans don’t work. School is still currently at home,…. So I will end this post with one of my favorite quotes by Gandalf:
“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo. “So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
So we started moving everything around this week. Kids are getting their room to the way they want them. We got new blinds up, and they ac installed, built a new bookshelf. Built a desk, cat tree and the living room is a mess hahaha. Hopefully everything will be done by the weekend. I’m starting to rethink in the amount of books I have.. Maybe a donation time?
This is part one of the books. I have maybe 4 more parts of books.
Well if schools are going to be online for awhile. We are going to do this right! After a month and a few weeks of planning, talking with teachers. We got everything the kids need and a schedule that works. I’ll be there every step of the way and making sure they are on task. Already did this last year when things took a turn with Covid-19. Nice part this go around, the teachers are available from 8am to 3pm, Monday-Friday and a little bit more organized. I am lucky to have family around me willing to help if needed. I know a lot of people are not happy with what is going on. Believe me, I’m not thrilled about it as well. But with the way things are going in 2020 and mostly likely into 2021. It’s our job as parents to make sure the kids have everything they need, now more than ever. To create an environment of normalcy, to encourage their passions and their imaginations. To make them feel safe and comfortable. Not to drag down or make them feel worried or stressed. For the first time this year I feel hopeful in something. Everything I do is for my kids and what they need in life. With this year, we have grow so close together and over come many obstacles along the way. I really think this is going to be a good school year. Yes it’s going to be a lot of work, patience and understanding. Plan and improvise. But that is life now, that is one thing 2020 has shown us as humans. We can adapt and improvise. So here is to a good school year! SKOL!!
So this story time take place at Wizard World Portland Comic Con. I believe this is the Feb. 2019 event.. Before the dark times… Now I would like to state this story also shows how great the staff is at Wizard World and the people are a whole.
So just about every year I am hired to do media coverage for the Portland Wizard World Comic Con. The last couple of times I was about to bring my kids along and show them a great time. This last convention and like always I go over the maps with the kids. Where to meet up if we get lost or who should we talk to if we do become lost.
We had been there for a couple of hours already and I had finished with a interview. we were going to take a small break and look around the merchandise and comics. Me and my son were looking at the swords and Funko. At which point my daughter asked me to come over and look at something she wanted. It really wasn’t that far, just right around the corner of the stall. I told my son to follow me and stay close.
Once my daughter and I were done paying for her loot. I looked over to see my son wasn’t there. I wanted back to where we were and he was there. with a small amount of panic, I started walking over to the walls to see if I can find a staff member, this is also where I told the kids to go if something like this happened. It’s away from everyone.
As soon as I turn the corner I see one of the staff ladies walking with my son to the last known where we here. I walked over and see that my son was crying a little bit and worried. The staff member told me what happened. Seems that my son answered me, but really wasn’t watching where I was going. As he was locked in on the swords. When he realized that we where not around anymore, he started walking to the wall and was trying to find a staff member. But he found Deadpool instead and asked he could help him find someone. From there they found the current staff member.
She said he was smart and brave in the way he acted. After a few laughs we said thank you, but not right before we got a picture with Deadpool haha.
Over all it was really good convention and the Wizard World staff was amazing and super helpful. I don’t think they get enough coverage or talked about in most conventions, as most of the spot lights are on the artists and movie icons. I can’t wait for 2021 comic con!
“Stupidity is an elemental force for which no earthquake is a match.”-Karl Kraus
I know I haven’t been to active on here as much as normal. Believe me I want to write about certain topics. But do to the advisement of my lawyer, at least for the time being…. I should not…. What I can say is that I’ve been going through a rather LONG custody case for my two kids. With the COVID-19 going on, it’s taken even longer. So with out naming people or relations, I will try and continue with this post.
*spaces out on keyboard* Ugh… I really want to write about this.. But I can’t…
What I can say is… My kids are happy and health. While with the current events are less than ideal, we’ve made do with what we can. In the beginning of all this, the kids and I worked together on their school work. I have to say that was a crash course for me haha, I haven’t had to do algebra in YEARS! But we did it and they finished the school year. Summer has been interesting to say the least. I felt bad for the kids, not being able to see their friends or other family members in the start of summer. They are rather resourceful and found ways to have communication between friends. Towards the end of July we were able to have a small family visit or overnights with Grandma & Grandpa. We even made a few trips to the river & beach.
But with August coming to an end and school is now going to be starting up soon. It’s interesting to see how the local school systems are trying to work out a system. Right now it looks like we are going a online/at home schooling mode again. At least the teachers are going be more active and have set hours through out the day. I know last time my brother(who is a teacher) helped me & the kids with a lot of things. They say in October they are to have a meeting and see where things are at with the COVID-19. To see if going back into the classroom is even an option.
For the last few months I have become a stay at home Father and I have to stay it’s a little weird hahaha. Yet I’m glad things worked out the way it did, I’m able to be here with the kids and make sure they are on track, do their chores or just help them out if needed. Ugh.. I really wish I can write about some of the events that going on. It’s kinda eating at me and is beyond frustrating. I am thankful for the people around me who are helping me work through all this.
Having this time with my kids has shown me on how much they have changed. How their personalities and style have grown. It tripped me out the other day, having a full on conversation with my oldest about that is happening in the world. Realizing that they aren’t babies anymore. Also making me realized I’m getting old hahaha.
This has also made me look at things in a different way. Like with this blog for example.. I do fell I kinda lost my way with the blog and I’m not to sure where it’s going. I’ve had this blog for over 10 years and I originally started it as a venting stage or help single parents with tips and tricks. As well as share in my nerdy fandoms and that evolved into working for Wizard World Comic Con on media coverage, writing reviews on tech gadgets, book reviews, having interviews with icons. This also took me down the path of podcasting and getting into radio. I would have never thought in a million years that this little website would open so many doors for me.
Maybe I do need to change things up a bit on here, just not sure where..? Right now I have two topics that going on, theUnboxing and Middle Earth Challenge. I think another problem I have is I stuck in what I call micro blog, A.K.A. Twitter. I know for sure that has messed things up for my blog. It’s just so easy to fire off a few lines and have conversations with people and/or share things. Does anyone have any thoughts or suggestion that would help? I feel like I hit a road block here.
At any rate, thank you for taking the time and reading though this mess hahaha.