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Nerdy Life of Mine

Just mild-mannered blogger & podcaster! Fighting a never-ending battle for fandoms & sharing all my misadventures in life.

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Alive.. Not Dead…

I have been away for a long time now… Because of that, my Blog is beyond a mess inside and out. It seems that after New Years everything stopped, motivation kinda went out the window.. Not that I wanted to write and share my adventures.. Just when I sit down to write, I look blankly at the screen or become side tracked with something else.

There are also personal reasons why I’ve been away. One of them being the one year anniversary of my Father’s death… I know at some point I’ll dive into more details on everything at a later date.

So! What is missing so far this year? I glad you asked! I would love to show you want I’ve been slacking on hahaha:

Media coverage of Wizard World Portland 2017

Star Wars Book Challenge

Personal rants and raves

Website layout & new logos

Tech Reviews

New Podcast set up

Yeah…. There is a lot of work ahead of me on here. I might go back to basics and fix everything first. Aside from personal life, there is work life that is eating up a lot of time as well. By the time I finish with work, I really don’t want to do anything else hahaha. BUT! Now having said that, I figure I’d write to you all to let you all know I’m alive! I’m not DEAD! I know some of you sent messages saying “hello”, “how are you?” and or, “are you okay?”. I know I didn’t write back to some of you, I’m sorry about that. I haven’t been on social media much as of late..

At any rate, my goal is to get some writing done this week and weekend. I want to finish the website layout too this weekend!! God things are such a mess, it driving my O.C.D nuts!!

 

Personal Update 

So this year(2016) is beyond ridiculous… I mean every year has it’s ups and downs. But it seems this year is one kick after another. 

My father passed away early in the beginning of the year. So I’ve been dealing with that. Trying to at least. Meanwhile it seems like I’ve been having a few medical issue after another. Talking with my Doctor and describing some my problems health and mental. Turns out I’m suffering from Depression and Anxiety. Which is causing problems with work and my family. Couldn’t deal with a lot of people all at once and would start to panic. 

Never spoke up for myself and just kinda rolled over. Stress eat…. It was a big mess really. But now I’m being medicated for it and things are turning around so to speak. So after moving forward with that, I had my shoulder finally checked out. About 10 years ago I had popped it out of the socket. Then had it violent put back in. Ever since, it’s been giving me problems and getting in the way of my job. At some points I wasn’t able to pick up my kids or nieces and nephews.

*** Need to stop for a moment. Doctor is hooking up with wires. I’ll explain in a minute.***

So after the Doctor looked at my arm and shoulders, had some x-rays done and found that there is a small gap between my clavicle and join. That cause the muscles to slip in and pinch. So he gave me a cortisone shot in the shoulder to help with the pain. Boy that was the weirdest feeling ever haha. But afterwards I was scheduled for physical therapy for the next couple of months. That was a lot of pain. So much I almost called out of work a few times. But now I’m finished with the therapy and get a shot in the shoulder if needed every other month.

Now the more recent updates and issues. While doing a follow up appointment, my Doctor wanted to see how the Depression medication was working as well as my shoulder. So while taking more x-rays, he stop and moved the machine down to the middle of my chest. Then took a series of x-rays and then proceeded to tell me that he found a dark spots on my lungs that wasn’t there before. Gave me a list of what could cause this or what it could be. As well the bad…. So he did some more tests and blood work and told he’ll let me know as soon as possible. Seeing how he was going on vacation that following weekend. Went back to work and almost broke down in front of my friend/boss…. I really didn’t know what to do. The stress of not knowing and waiting. 

I believe it wasn’t till Monday when I heard the news. It turns out that it was scar tissue, likely caused by a violent cough or throwing up.. So as of right now you are wondering why the Doctor is wiring me up? Well my Doctor wanted me to do a sleep test. This also linked to my depression and anxiety. It’s going to be interesting as to what they find in the moring. 

So till then, I will say goodnight!

…. Nope

635860977597358197-1003640765_writers-block-vintageEver have a problem where you want to write about something. Or at least in the mood to write and you go to sit down…….. Nothing….. Mind goes blank and you find yourself looking at the screen… Yeah That’s me right now.. Maybe it’s caused by the heat, fighting off this cold… Who knows haha.

Anywho! How is everyone doing?

Coming Soon!! Star Wars Book Challenge

Star-Wars-Book Challenge Coming SoonSo with the Star Trek Book Challenge almost to a end. I was looking around for another challenge and what would be more fitting than Star Wars!! I always enjoyed Trek (the TV shows & movie more so, than the books). But I’ve been a bigger Fanboy to the Wars and the novels. After reading Star Wars: Dark Force Rising (Star Wars: The Thrawn Trilogy #2) it gave me the idea to do this challenge. So I figured I will read one Star Wars novel a month and post them on the 15th till the release of Star Wars VIII. Think of it as a fun way to count down to the the movie! Now I have some other smaller Star Wars novels that I’ll double up on and add a “.5” to them, much like I did with the Star Trek Challenge. So I’m thinking June 15, 2016 will be the start date for this new challenge and end on December 15, 2017. I believe that will be about 19 (unless I find some other smaller novels to squeeze in there) books in all. At any rate I’m rather looking forward to this and I hope you all enjoy it as much as well.

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Sick…

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I haven’t been this sick in awhile. Hot ♨ and cold ❄ flashes, fever. Not to mention that my throat is killing me, along with a headache. I have things I need to do today, but I can’t. Missed out on work, which I don’t like doing. It’s be one thing if it was an office job, but I’m a cook. Being sick and making people’s food was never a pleasant notion for me. At any rate I think I’ll try and eat something and very more sleep. And yes that is me currently while writing this.. I think it’s the hair that pulls it all together.

Books, Sun, Blue Skies

So while sitting outside and Hobbits running back and forth in the sprinkler. I decided take out a few books and start reading. Kinda get lost for a minute with a good book 📖 (hopefully good books 📚 ).

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An upcoming Star Trek Book Challenge novel Ice Trap. And Star Wars: Dark Force Rising, which I haven’t read yet. I know, I know haha. It’s almost sacrilegious to have the two together, but I love them both. But it’s nice to do something a little different and take some time off for a bit. This year has been long and hard.

My Morning So Far

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Me being Ryan Reynolds…….

Change Is AFoot

I know I’ve post in the beginning of the year, that I was going to make a lot of changes to my site, etc. What I didn’t know, I was going to make some big changes in my life as well. 2016 has been one hell of a year so far. One I care not to relive and can only hope things will get better. I’ve been dealing with my father’s death and trying to fit in with everyone again. Get back to a normal patter I guess.. Problem is I’m not to sure what normal is anymore. It’s almost like to trying to find yourself again, who you were. I miss my Dad so much, I keep wanting to call him and ask him questions. The other day I saw something and wanted to send him a picture of it, because I know he’ll find it funny. Even talk about movies… I still have his number in my phone and can’t bring myself to delete from my contacts. 2016 seems to be a  year of change and challenges…

With this posted I want to share with you some of the changes I made with nerdylifeofmine.com. I an odd way this site is a part of me and showcases who I am and what mood I’m in. My OCD kicked in and cleaned up the menu layout to this:

 

tumblr_nu762jZH6K1s2fn7xo2_500Home is the main button and will take you back to the main page. Wizard World Press has everything I covered at Wizard World Comic Con and the Star Trek Challenge will take you on an adventure through all the Trek novels I’ve been reading this past year(Good luck.. You’re going to need it.). Podcast is a list of every podcast I’ve been apart of or currently working on, this one as a drop down menu when you hover your mouse over it. Now we have Pandora’s Box.. I’ll make a list below for you:

 

Now Authors as another mini menu that will pop out and give a list of people have taken part in nerdylifeofmine.com. Same thing with Gallery & Mix, there is a mini menu that will pop out when hovering over it. Source Index is a page with all the information that I use for posts and things I share from other bloggers and websites. It’s easier to do it this way and it’s instant credit to everyone. Links is another upfront page I made share links to websites that I rather enjoy and again it also serves as another Source Index kinda.

Cleaned up the side panels a bit, so everything will flow better. Also I have a few new banners and logos that were made this year, by some great friends and family as well as myself. I do have logo I would like to show you guys, but I have yet to pay for it. Money has became rather tight at the moment do to the trip to California for my Father. A lot of things were put on the back burner, some project I think I’ll never get back to again. It’s just to much for me to handle at this point. It’s hard enough to work and go out in public. I found myself having a small panic attack at the store for whatever reason.. I just knew I had to leave.. Sorry going off on a bunny trail here, back to the new logos. At any ate I’m putting a creative change into this site and art around it, so there is the new banner for the website:

NerdyLifeWordpressNerdyLifeFacebookI rather enjoy these new banners and thank you to for make font and other logo designs. Here are some more he made in the past:

Twitter NLOM2 nlomjrIt’s always fun to look back at everything you made. Here are some pictures/logos I made for the site:

website-2.jpgNerdy Life Of Minehttps://nerdylifeofmine.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/cropped-nerdy-life-of-mine-3.jpg?w=990&h=257Twitter pix I’ll be make more changes as time goes on this year. But I figured this will be a good start, not only fr the site. But for myself as well, I find it claiming and another way to reinvent oneself.. Hope you all enjoy the new logos/banners! Please let me know what you think in the comment box below :).

One Last Ride

On February 27, 2016 my Father had passed away. On Friday the 19th he had a massive heart attack, that following Monday he would have coronary artery bypass surgery. At first the Doctor told me that they would have to quadruple bypass, then after looking at things it went down to two… Monday the day of the surgery the Doctor informed that my Dad need to have a quintuple bypass.. Five… Five of his arteries need to be replaced, bypass of more than four coronary arteries is uncommon. Rather worried that this point, The Doctor told me that the surgery went fine and is still out of it. Now please keep in mind I’m in Oregon at this point and my Father is in California. So I’m talking to the Doctor over the phone and getting updates that way.

Come Tuesday I was able to talk with him and get more information. Everything seemed to be going fine and my Dad was in a great mood (All tho I think it was mostly do to the drugs haha). I was able to tell him about meeting Shatner and replacing the lost autograph that my Dad gave me a few years back. Told him about the conversation I had with Shatner (I wrote about this in another post https://nerdylifeofmine.com/2016/02/22/a-small-conversation-with-william-shatner-bob-camp-at-wizard-world/). He was so beyond happy to hear about that. Over the next couple of days I would call in and see how is was doing. He told me that some of old childhood friends came in to see how he was doing. I was happy and shocked to hear about that. On Friday the 26th… I called in to see how my Dad was doing, he was in a  good mood and full of jokes. He had just finished doing his walk around the hospital floor and taking a breather. They wanted him to to try and use the bathroom, that’s where he joked about making camp in there because getting up and down was hard haha.

I had Lilly and Jackson (My Hobbits) with me at this time and they wanted to talk with him and see how he was doing. Because they were so worried about him before. I think they talked with him for almost 30-40 minutes haha, Lilly and my Dad were making to plans to see each other and Disneyland. Jackson and him were talking video games, movies and Jackson’s time at Comic Con.

… One second….. Having trouble writing right now…. *Let me say ahead of time I’m sorry for any misspellings or what have you. I’m trying to power through this and clear my head.*

After the kids said goodbye, I continued to talk with him. There we talked about him retiring and what kind of meds/diet he is going to be on. My Father was so happy, because the Doctor at this point told him that he was making great progress and gets to go home that Sunday! We made some plans for the summer and for us to come down and see him and he wanted to come up for Christmas again. He was in such a great mood, full of jokes. This would be the last time I would ever talk to my Dad………….. “Me: Love you, schmuck, Dad: Love you too, moron…”

February 27……..

Got up and ready for work as normal.. Started work at 8am and was there till about 9:30-10am and that’s when I saw Carly come into the back door of the shop. Rather odd I thought.. I had my hands full at this point and had to put everything down as she told me to come here.. She had a worried look on her face……

It was that point Carly told me that my Dad had passed away……….

Standing there in shock. Mind went blank. Just looking at her and not knowing what to say or do. Thinking that this might be a really bad joke. But I knew that wasn’t true. Carly’s face said it all. I didn’t know what to do. I knew I had to leave work and let my co-works know. I gave my Carly my phone so she can call our friend Shaun and let him know I wasn’t going to be there today and why. I walked back inside still holding together at this point, I told Zack (my co-worker) I was leaving. With a look on his face he asked why? I told him my Father just passed away. “Leave.. Get out..” I then tried to tell him what I hadn’t finished at work. “I don’t care, go home. I’m so sorry.”

Grabbing my stuff and trying to walk to the car. At this point things were a blur. I really don’t remember much, I know I just broke down. I remember feeling of being lost and not knowing what to do. The man I always went to talk to about things, get advice. Was no longer there.

My Father, my best friend, my hero was no longer there….

I know as the day went on, I knew people were talking with me and messaging me. But I really don’t remember any of it. Everyone was telling me how sorry they are to hear the passing of my Dad or share stories.. But what can I say to them. “Thank you” seems like a cheap reply.. But sadly that’s all I could get out. I really to don’t remember talking to many of my friends/family about this.

I know after the next few days Carly and I were able to make our way down to California to help with everything and give my Dad the send off he needed. I grateful for our friends Kevin and Shaun that help Carly and I make the trip down there. With out them, I don’t think any of that would have been possible. So we made our trip down to Ventura CA. I wanted to drive down. I knew I had to drive down. I didn’t want to fly. I wanted to do one last ride down to California. Why you ask? As a kid every summer my Dad would drive up to Oregon and pick me up after the school year was done. We did this for years and years. Every time was different from the last, never knowing who you’d meet on the road or what problems would happen. There are so many great stories that happen to us while drive back and forth. I really just need to drive down and remember everything. Remember him. I wanted to share these stories & places that I talked so much with Carly.

Writing this is beyond hard for me now.. I started this on the 15th of March and it’s now the 20th. I’m just trying to push through this and open up with everything inside.

Once we were in Ventura CA. all of my childhood friends were there. Friends I haven’t seen in years and thought we would never talk again. We were together again and picked up right where we left off. It’s weird tho. In a odd way I like to think it was my Father made all this possible. He knew that there were problems in the past with us. He knew I wanted to fix things and get back together with them all. He did it. Some how he did. I just wish my Dad was here to see it, because he helped raise all of us as kids.

When it was time to do the service. We walked in and to my far right I could see him there…. I had to leave… Only for a moment.. It took me awhile to build up strength to finally look at him… It was my Dad, but it wasn’t. It was this shell of what he use to be. His light was now gone from this world and I’m having trouble trying to my way. I will miss him so much and everything he stood for. Right now I’m still having trouble making my way through life with out him being there. If I have a question about something or just need a little nugget of knowledge I would start to dial his number. Then realize that he isn’t here anymore.

At the end of the trip I find myself with boxes and boxes of family history that he had saved and put together. Not just current family, but family going back four or five generations! So I’ve made it a mission to put all this together and finish want he had started. There is some many thing I didn’t even know about my family.

I’m going to end this post here.. I’m sure I’ll write about this again at some point. But I just don’t have the energy in me at the moment. Thank you all for reading and understanding on why I had to back away from so many things lately.

~Jason Bucky Roberts

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