A Strange Request… Grieving

A Strange Request… Grieving

So at some point in the beginning of this year 2017. Someone had sent me an email on my Facebook Page that I run for Nerdy Life of Mine.  In fact I haven’t really been keeping up on my FB Page this year, until recently this month to change a lot of information. Then I saw I had some messages. Thank Facebook for the notice… After reading this email, I felt horrible that it went so long with no…

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A Strange Request… Grieving

So at some point in the beginning of this year 2017. Someone had sent me an email on my Facebook Page that I run for Nerdy Life of Mine.  In fact I haven’t really been keeping up on my FB Page this year, until recently this month to change a lot of information. Then I saw I had some messages. Thank Facebook for the notice… After reading this email, I felt horrible that it went so long with no answer. This person was reaching out to me for any help I can provide on dealing with grief. As soon as I saw this I quickly wrote back in hopes of still helping.. I still haven’t heard anything back from them. I feel really bad about this and hope they don’t think I was ignoring them.

So while I wait on them to write back (don’t think it’ll happen), I thought I would write and share their story and also share a little more on what I went through, as well as what I still deal with. My Father had shockingly pasted away on Feb. 27, 2016 and I’ve been dealing with that ever since then.

https://nerdylifeofmine.com/2016/03/20/one-last-ride/

https://nerdylifeofmine.com/2016/03/12/step-by-step/

https://nerdylifeofmine.com/2016/03/14/sleep-yes-please/

https://nerdylifeofmine.com/tag/dad/

I think what makes it extra hard to get over, is that our birthdays are so close together (21 & 23). So there are so many reminders ever, not that I’m trying ignore them. It’s just hard to move at times. Now with this couple that was asking for help. They were the Grandparents taking care of their 15 year old Granddaughter. I can’t imagine what it’ll be like to lose a love one so young. As a Father myself of a 10 & 8 year old, I don’t want to even think about losing any one of them. Personally I think that’s a nightmare in grief for any Parent or Grandparent to lose a child. Me losing my Father has been hard, Do to the fact it came so out of the blue and No one was ready for it… I wasn’t ready for it. But as a child you know in the back of mind, at some point you will lose your Parents or Grandparents. Hopefully to old age.. But this is just heartbreaking and having trouble giving an suggestions on how to deal. Here is the email they wrote me, I edited out any information for their privacy.

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This may be a strange request, but hoped to be able to make contact with Jason Roberts for support with loss and how he was able to go on after it. I live in ***** with my husband of 19 years. I grew up here and 17 months ago we lost our grand daughter who we were raising. She was 15 yr old and her death should have never happened. Maybe this is why I cannot seem to move on. I hope to find from others who have lost love ones, how they moved on. I came across your radio broadcast site by accident and with much interest. I am sincere in my request and just want to find some peace and not so lost anymore. It has made me unable to take care of things as I should and has put a strain on our future. I have been in counseling, tried many meds, all in hopes of getting a part of me back to where I was before our loss. Again, I know this is not a normal thing I am doing, but I read about your loss and how much it effected you like it has me. My husband does not know I have sent this and I understand if you choose to ignore me, but I am sincere in my hope of someone helping me, by the way that helped them. I am 54 years old and a kind soul who tries to help others when I can. I believe there are still good people among us and ones you can trust and who truly can understand your struggles and losses.
Thank you for your time and in reading my post to you. I feel it is worth a shot and there is no hurt by asking, right? Truly… greatful for any suggestions or ideas that could help me.

if nothing more than a good story to share with your friends later I guess

Sincerely, ****
(just a hometown family girl at heart)

1: Take it a day at a time..

No one expects you to be fine the next day or get over it in a week. Take all the time in the world work things out with yourself and love ones.

2: Try and focus on the good times and memories. Don’t let their death change those for you.

3: Things do get better in time. Altho the pain never really leaves, things do become easier.

4: Try talking with someone about it. Love one or a counselor.

This one I kinda failed at. I still really haven’t talk about everything about my Father. I didn’t know how to deal and bottled everything up. That caused a lot of problems in my personal life. It is important that you talk to someone or write it out and share. Like I have in the past and current. I’ve learned from my mistakes and the event of my Father’s passing has changed my life in so many, many ways. Life changing ways..

5: Keep something of theirs. Pictures are one thing, but what I’m talking about is like a necklace, bracelet, etc. Something that you can take with you. As weird as it sounds, it helps.

6: Comfort food & movie.. Haha yes comfort food. Now don’t go over board and eat your feelings away. Just find a favorite movie of yours and whatever comfort food and send a day doing that.

7: Friends and Family… Help each other in this hard time.

Now some people turn to religion to help them grief or what have you. Personally that didn’t work for me and I’m not the most religious. Plus I’ve also seen religion go the other direction and people blame God for everything and destroy everything in their lives. That’s not good for anyone. Not saying that happens all the time. But it does happen, specially with a child or someone so young.

I do hope this will help this couple, if they read this. Even help other people who are grieving, also here are some website that may help out a little.

Grieving the Death of a Child

https://healgrief.org/grieving-the-death-of-a-child/

Helping Yourself Heal When a Parent Dies

http://griefwords.com/index.cgi?action=page&page=articles%2Fhelping4.html&site_id=2

Day Two

Of this craptastic head cold or whatever this crap is.. I so done feeling like this, ugh. It feel like I’ve been sleeping for the past 2 days, only to get up to eat or use the bathroom. What really bugs me, I have some many project ideas that I want to do. But ZERO energy to do them.. Even writing this little bit is killing me haha.

Also I had to reformat my computer. It was in the middle of the…

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Day Two

Of this craptastic head cold or whatever this crap is.. I so done feeling like this, ugh. It feel like I’ve been sleeping for the past 2 days, only to get up to eat or use the bathroom. What really bugs me, I have some many project ideas that I want to do. But ZERO energy to do them.. Even writing this little bit is killing me haha.

Also I had to reformat my computer. It was in the middle of the updating the OS and something happened with the WiFi connection and some of the file became corrupt. I wasn’t able to roll it back to the last save point. I lost a lot of programs and some work. but more of my file were still there. So now I have to reinstall everything and come to find out I don’t have a lot of my discs or USB. So all my art programs are gone and photoshop :(. sucks too because Wizard World is coming up. I mean it’s in a few months, but this is a set back I don’t need.

I realize this post has no point, just random thoughts popping out. Well I’m going to make some tea and find something to eat. Try to eat at least, nothing sounds good right now.

Men Build Things, Then We Die

Men Build Things, Then We Die

Men do not cry. Men do not pout. Men jack you in the fuckin’ jaw and say, “Thanks for comin’ out!”. ― David Della Rocco

So I’ve been rather silent as of late (better part of 2016 and 2017). Mostly on personal things and with good reasons I didn’t want to share or talk about it to much. I’m not one to share my feelings with people, mostly do to the fact it’s no one’s business. But there comes a…

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Men Build Things, Then We Die

Men Build Things, Then We Die

Men do not cry. Men do not pout. Men jack you in the fuckin’ jaw and say, “Thanks for comin’ out!”. ― David Della Rocco

So I’ve been rather silent as of late (better part of 2016 and 2017). Mostly on personal things and with good reasons I didn’t want to share or talk about it to much. I’m not one to share my feelings with people, mostly do to the fact it’s no one’s business. But there comes a…

View On WordPress

Men Build Things, Then We Die

Men do not cry. Men do not pout. Men jack you in the fuckin’ jaw and say, “Thanks for comin’ out!”. ― David Della Rocco

So I’ve been rather silent as of late (better part of 2016 and 2017). Mostly on personal things and with good reasons I didn’t want to share or talk about it to much. I’m not one to share my feelings with people, mostly do to the fact it’s no one’s business. But there comes a point where your tired of the drama and gossip, and you need to speak up. Share your side of the story..

Beginning of the year I had moved out into my friend’s house. There were growing problems between me and my now ex-wife. I know I kinda shut down after my Father had passed away. I really didn’t know how to deal with his death, because it was so random and fast. But with his passing it did open my eyes and brought to light a lot of problems within’ the relationship, that I was turning a blind eye too. Realizing that life is so short. I found myself looking at everything I had, everything I am as a person. Realizing I am not happy.

I found myself changing. Not just physically, mentally as well. I have no time for dramatic BS or 20 questions or “what are you thinking”. The lets talk about your feelings, why are you quite?. Not to mention being called a lair, cheat, just being berated and beaten down. After awhile one starts to think, ” maybe I am those things…?”. But I hit my limit. I couldn’t take it anymore. The fights, the never ending fights. I would find myself sitting in the driveway at home after work.10-15 minutes, sometimes 30 minutes. Just bracing myself for what is to come behind closed doors. I would go to work to relax, to have quite time.

Why do we have share what we are feeling? I mean, yes I get and understand that you want to open up and share things with your partner in crime. But the key word being “WANT”, not feel like you have to. I’m at the point in my life where if I want to tell you something I will. But my thoughts are my own. I don’t like to sit and dwell on things. People make mistakes, it’s life. Forgive them or not. Move on with life… When I realized that the marriage was coming to a end I did have a chance to try and fix things (again) or walk away.. I tried…. But I realized this was not working and need to step back and end it. I was not happy and didn’t want to live like that anymore.. I need to be my own person again. Find out if all the name calling was true.

If that makes me a asshole, then so be it. I’ve been quite long enough about everything. I grew up with strong male figures in my life. My Grandfather was a amazing man, World War II, Fireman, Forrest Service. He was always working and never stopped. My Father… My Father was fantastic. Artist, Forrest Service, ran his own company, he always there for me. I learned so much from them. Grandpa never really shared anything unless he felt it was important, my Father was the same way. But some how when I didn’t open about things, I’m the asshole. And you know what, I’m fully okay with that. I am who I am. I’m a doer and not a talker. I’m not into this coffee house, self help crap.

I had enough of being called names, a lair, a cheat. I had enough of feeling like nothing was ever good enough. So I ended everything and moved out. I made the dramatic life change and started to rebuild my life. For once I’m starting to feel happy again. The stress level has dropped and being able to do things of my own freewill is amazing. Plus I think I’ve become so tired of this whinny ass generation. No respect for history, let alone any knowledge of it. They are to busy worrying about their feelings being hurt, so they sit there and bitch. The talkers… If this sounds like I’m am angry, I am.

So as of right now I’m working on my site, I have a full time job and roof over my head. Two great kids and a nerdy amazing girlfriend. Who I never thought in a million years would go out with me. It was one of those “life is to short” moments and I took a chances and asked her out for a dinner/movie. It was late at night and I was thinking about her and thought why not! Whats the worse she can say? No hahah. But to my surprise she said yes! Wait what? Hahaha. I have to say I love everything about her and her nerdism. I really have no words on how I feel when I’m around her. Happy, relaxed, open, everything is so upfront and straight to the core. No dealing with BS or beating around the bush. It’s nice and refreshing and takes a little getting use to haha, been living in a downward spiral for so long.

Okay, I will end things right here for now.

THANKS FOR COMIN’ OUT!!

Men build things, then we die. It’s in our fucking DNA! That’s what we do! And when it all falls down? We build it right back up again. But this time bigger. BETTER! Look! Look what we can do. Look how fuckin’ beautiful we are. You think the men that built all this had it easy?
Hard men! Doing hard shit! I am so sick of this self help, twelve step, leftover hippie generation bullshit!
Now they don’t want you to do anything, right? Just sit there. Don’t drink. Don’t smoke. Don’t drive fast. Kiss my ass! Fuck it! Do it all I say! Do you think Duke Wayne spent all of his time talking about his feelings with a fuckin’ therapist? There’s no fucking way he did! John Wayne died with five pounds of undigested red meat in his ass. Now that’s a man! Real men hide their feelings. Why? Because it’s none of your fuckin’ business!
Men do not cry. Men do not pout. Men jack you in the fuckin’ jaw and say… Thanks for comin’ out! ― David Della Rocco

Alive.. Not Dead…

Alive.. Not Dead…

I have been away for a long time now… Because of that, my Blog is beyond a mess inside and out. It seems that after New Years everything stopped, motivation kinda went out the window.. Not that I wanted to write and share my adventures.. Just when I sit down to write, I look blankly at the screen or become side tracked with something else.

There are also personal reasons why I’ve been away. One…

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Alive.. Not Dead…

Alive.. Not Dead…

I have been away for a long time now… Because of that, my Blog is beyond a mess inside and out. It seems that after New Years everything stopped, motivation kinda went out the window.. Not that I wanted to write and share my adventures.. Just when I sit down to write, I look blankly at the screen or become side tracked with something else.

There are also personal reasons why I’ve been away. One…

View On WordPress

Alive.. Not Dead…

I have been away for a long time now… Because of that, my Blog is beyond a mess inside and out. It seems that after New Years everything stopped, motivation kinda went out the window.. Not that I wanted to write and share my adventures.. Just when I sit down to write, I look blankly at the screen or become side tracked with something else.

There are also personal reasons why I’ve been away. One of them being the one year anniversary of my Father’s death… I know at some point I’ll dive into more details on everything at a later date.

So! What is missing so far this year? I glad you asked! I would love to show you want I’ve been slacking on hahaha:

Media coverage of Wizard World Portland 2017

Star Wars Book Challenge

Personal rants and raves

Website layout & new logos

Tech Reviews

New Podcast set up

Yeah…. There is a lot of work ahead of me on here. I might go back to basics and fix everything first. Aside from personal life, there is work life that is eating up a lot of time as well. By the time I finish with work, I really don’t want to do anything else hahaha. BUT! Now having said that, I figure I’d write to you all to let you all know I’m alive! I’m not DEAD! I know some of you sent messages saying “hello”, “how are you?” and or, “are you okay?”. I know I didn’t write back to some of you, I’m sorry about that. I haven’t been on social media much as of late..

At any rate, my goal is to get some writing done this week and weekend. I want to finish the website layout too this weekend!! God things are such a mess, it driving my O.C.D nuts!!