So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

So this post is more on the personal side. Which I’ve been know to do from time to time on here, aside from the nerdy fandom posts.
2013 was not the best year for myself.  Oh sure I had a few winning moments. But sadly that only made 10% of the events good. Where as the bad was around 90%… Lost one of the many battles over custody for my children, lost my job, car, lots of financial problems and even got arrested towards the end of the year.
Also founded out that I’m suffering from Depression and what would be the being stages of Agoraphobia. For those who don’t know what Agoraphobia is, it’s when you an anxiety disorder characterized by anxiety in situations. Like in wide-open spaces, as well as uncontrollable social situations such as the possibility of being met in shopping malls, airports etc. Also causes panic attacks in those environments. There are better definitions on Wikipedia if you care to look it up :).
So this week finished all the left over drama from 2013. Paving the way for a new beginning in 2014. A vary much needed new beginning…
After being hit with the proverbial enlightenment stick.  I’ve sought out getting help from a therapist and started taking parenting classes. I’ve Also registered for college in the fall. So today was the first day of therapy and it went rather well.  It was more of a getting to know each other type of meeting, haha to get a better understanding of my shenanigans.
With a new being on the horizon, I’ve started/join some new creative outlets.  One being this new podcast! Yay! This is something I’ve always wanted to do. But never knew how and or participate in one. Let alone on who to talk to about such a matter haha :). That was until last week when I got a tweet from a follower about joining his podcast group! At first I was nervous, not to sure of myself(Thank you Agoraphobia). But I pushed through it and jumped on board, because I knew I wasn’t going to get another change like this for awhile. Still a little nervous about everything, but I manage to finish an episode the other night. And went rather well, had a lot of fun and laughs. Can’t wait to record new episodes :). I’ve also started making a new layout for the website as well.  Things like a new logo, update the HTML5, I’ve also been playing around with c++. I’m also looking to add new writers to my site.
But all in all, things are getting better. 2014 as a “A New Hope” feeling to it.  I want to keep moving forward and make myself a better person.
So in ending this post I say to 2013,”So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish.”

City kid come back

I miss the city…. Always be a city kid, miss the life and being creative. I miss the crazy people you run into. Or telling a pop culture joke and having someone get it. I’ve had my fill of redneck country bumkins….. I need to change things up and fast, I feel like I’m starting to drown. No matter how hard I kick and swim, I can’t seem to make back on top to where I was at.
It seems that nothing as gone right from day one. Broken promises, stabbed in the back, broken heart, lost love ones, losing friendships, fail relationships… Being BROKE, living from pay check to pay check. I haven’t done ANY FORM OF ART in over 3 years. My biggest fear is never changing, never coming out of this slump that I was put into.
I’m tired… I never felt this way before.. I’m always tired now a days. Don’t want to leave, don’t want to see anyone. The idea of being social makes me twitch and second guess myself. Forget dating haha!! God, now there is some second guessing going on there. I think this past year with everything that as happen to me. Has really messed things up more than I thought it did…. I know I need to change, my problem is I don’t know where to start.