StarDate 74873.9

With much frustration I am writing this post to share. Why? I think in some weird way I hope it shows someone that they aren’t the only ones going to stressful times in dealing with custody battles. I believe I have shared this few times now, that I have been in a custody battle for “officially” two years now. I say “officially” because I went out and found a lawyer to help me with this battle. It’s actually been a uphill battle for almost 10+ years. Sure there have been a few good times, where everything was going smoothly. But those were quick to vanish in time.

We were to have our trial on the 26th of May… Not so much… The day right before, we got the call that it was pushed back due to a criminal trial. This has happen to us twice before and not to mention all the problems Covid caused and other the other party moving out of state. We were able to have a settlement hearing in hopes of coming to some type of agreement. What is the saying? Wish in one hand and crap in the other. See which one fills up first. I mean the fact most of us didn’t have much faith in this hearing. But I had a “small” hope that maybe, maybe she might see the problems.

With out going into much detail. The settlement hearing was a waste of time and the judge called. Turns out the other party has their significant other in the same room as them(they video call into the courts). When it was only for Lawyers and the two parties involved. Because of this the judge could not take her answers as truthful. Also the fact that we were on two different sides as far as parenting plans go. Fact of the matter is, we have offered a number of plans and she as rejected all of them. Even the Oregon standard long distance parenting plan. No changes, plan as is… But she rejected it.. Had she taken that deal, she would have had the kids this summer and possibly Christmas. But that is not the case now and we have moved on to what is best for the kids and not the adult.

Fact that the families for both sides are in Oregon, their friends as in Oregon. They have a stable foundation that was built in Oregon and to up root them to a state they never been before. Where they know no one and have zero family out here, not to mention the problem with the stepparent. But that is a headache of a story for another time…..

So after the settlement hearing was ended, the lawyer and myself talked about our next course of action. We were able to get a new trial date that wasn’t to far away and more confident that it will actually go through. Everyone wants this done with… It’s hard to deal with this and also plan a wedding at the same time. The trial is always in the back of my mind and is the cause of much stress. I believe this is the cause of number white hairs now haha.

So that is the current state if things, with out going into much detail. Sadly a lot of my time is devoted to this and a number of project have taken a backseat. Like my blog here. BUT!! Hopefully soon that will change and we can move on with life. Thank you for reading my drama and I am sorry for not updating as much as I normally do.

School Has Started

Well if schools are going to be online for awhile. We are going to do this right! After a month and a few weeks of planning, talking with teachers. We got everything the kids need and a schedule that works. I’ll be there every step of the way and making sure they are on task. Already did this last year when things took a turn with Covid-19. Nice part this go around, the teachers are available from 8am to 3pm, Monday-Friday and a little bit more organized. I am lucky to have family around me willing to help if needed.
I know a lot of people are not happy with what is going on. Believe me, I’m not thrilled about it as well. But with the way things are going in 2020 and mostly likely into 2021. It’s our job as parents to make sure the kids have everything they need, now more than ever. To create an environment of normalcy, to encourage their passions and their imaginations. To make them feel safe and comfortable. Not to drag down or make them feel worried or stressed. For the first time this year I feel hopeful in something. Everything I do is for my kids and what they need in life. With this year, we have grow so close together and over come many obstacles along the way. I really think this is going to be a good school year. Yes it’s going to be a lot of work, patience and understanding. Plan and improvise. But that is life now, that is one thing 2020 has shown us as humans. We can adapt and improvise.
So here is to a good school year! SKOL!!

Don’t Be Afraid On Who You Are

You Can’t Be a Princess” | Journalists from ABC’s “What Would You Do?” planted hidden cameras in a Halloween store and filmed shoppers’ reactions to a boy who wanted a princess costume and a girl who wanted a Spiderman costume.

“A strong man stands up for himself, but a stronger man stands up for others.”

I post this video awhile back about gay bashing. After watching the kids in the Halloween video above, it got me thinking. As a parent at first I fell into the system of Boys should play Boy toys and Girls should play with Girl toys. It was so automatic to think/act that it bother me so much. I made a change and started teaching my children on equity on every level. I want my daughter to have strong female role models, be independent and think for her self. Same thing for my son. I want him to have his heroes and strong role models, teach him how to treat people and be respectful of women. I want them to express themselves anyway they want. I’ve found my son playing with dolls from my daughter’s toy box. That is fine! He actually mixes it up with IronMan, Hulk,  Optimus Prime and has them go in and save the girl hahaha. It’s cute really.. Same thing with my little girl, she plays with his superhero toys all the time. Last Christmas I went on a quest to find female superhero toys and show her that there are girl superheros! She was so excited and had no idea that there were female superheros.

I remember as a kid growing up I found myself relating to the female gender better than the guys. Oh sure I had a bunch of guy friends that was never a issues. But I found I had more female trades than the normal “John Wayne” types out there. This is something I kept to myself for years, remember things in the 80’s & 90’s were a lot different than they are now a days. I think it wasn’t till the year 2001 is were a lot things changed about myself. I wrapped myself up into the Goth culture and the arts, met new people who are like minded. I took a lot of female clothing designs and infused them with male clothing, I would put on make-up, lip stick, nail polish, etc… I felt free of judgement and didn’t have to worry about people thought, I was doing what I felt was right. I guess transgender would be the word to use here. I’m not gay really, more bisexual because I have had a few boyfriends in the past. I’ve had more girlfriends then boyfriends really, well Christ I was married at one point haha.

That also kinda brings me to another turning point in my life. Once my girlfriend (who became my wife at the time) was do with child, I felt this need to change who I was again. That “Dads” need to be a certain way or to be just a parent for that matter. Being judged by people who look at me and say,”you are having a child? You look and act like that?”,”Going to mess up or confuse the kid if you are going to be like this.”. I remember all the side remarks, never really leaves. But sadly I did want people call “manning up” and changed everything about me. I think the one saving grace was my children in the long run. They make me happy and became the air I breath, I really can’t imagine life without them now. Now I’m moving on with life and have a wonderful girlfriend who likes to nerd things up with me.

I’ve been wanted to write something like this for awhile now. A “coming out, but not coming out” speech haha. It was more or less me becoming tired of hiding on who I am and who I have become because of my life. I think this video help me come to this point to share everything to you. In this video Bunny Bennett also known as Rabbit from the band Steam Powered Giraffe, here she talks about being transgender and some of things she went through.

I believe this video explains me to a “T”… I am a little scared to post this, in fear of what other my think. Well close friends and family, I don’t think I’ve ever said anything to anyone about this. I’m 30 years old now and I think it’s time to stop hiding my past and present.  SO here is goes… 3..2…1.. “Publish”

Dino Weekend with the Hobbits

So The other weekend took the Hobbits(the kids) to a Dinosaur exhibit. When I first heard about this, I was expecting a cheesy house of wax/fun house feel haha. But I was rather shocked, These things were full sized and able to move around. It reminded me of some of the exhibits I saw as a child (back in the 80’s haha).

I must say it was nice to see their faces light up and run around. But at any rate here are some pictures and a video with a nice Benny Hill theme.

IMAG0872 IMAG0873_BURST005 IMAG0876 IMAG0885 IMAG0888 IMAG0893 IMAG0897 IMAG0900 IMAG0913_BURST002 IMAG0916 IMAG0922_BURST002 IMAG0922_BURST009  IMAG0930 IMAG0936 IMAG0942 IMAG0947 IMAG0962 IMAG0979 IMAG0969 IMAG0984 IMAG1013 IMAG1016 IMAG1021 IMAG1024 IMAG1070


So in the gift shop I found what they call Dino Poop…… Yeah… How much does Dino Poop cost you ask? $20.00!

IMAG1073 IMAG1074